when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
