I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
