First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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