But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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