It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
