Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
