We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
