he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
