I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
