Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
