I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
