69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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