i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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