I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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