Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
