would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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