my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
