oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I love how my cats smell like pot.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
