Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
