so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
