No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
