i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
