And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
