The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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