weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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