Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
