Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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