Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sorry about my life...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
