i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
