Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
