Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
handjob tips. give me some.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
