also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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