Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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