look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
