Buhtt sex?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
