so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
