You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
