I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
