I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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