i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
