I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
