i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
not ubering you a puppy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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