i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it because I queefed?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
