hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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