Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do vagina's smell?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
