Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
