You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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