So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
