Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
