i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
