how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
