you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
